Author: Colleen Clayton
Publisher: Poppy / Little, Brown & Comp.
Release Date: October 09, 2012
Page Count: 310
Source: The Library
Read Between: November 27 - November 28, 2012
Buy It: Amazon / B&N / The Book Depository
This review is very personal to me.
It contains some very personal information.
If you don't like to see this in a review, then you should stop reading this now.
To be completely honest, I don't know how to start off with this review. I finished this book over 2 weeks ago and I have yet to figure out an answer to this problem. I have been trying really hard to figure out a way to make this review less personal to me, but I just haven't been able to figure out a way. So I will just have to go with my gut and see what happens.
I picked up this book because it got a really good review from a blogger that I stock. Her reviews have led me to read so really good books so I thought this would be a good read as well. But boy was this something else to read. While reading this I ran through so many different emotions, the most common being: Annoyance and down right anger.
I am not saying this was a bad book to read, not at all. But it was a book that was extremely difficult for me to read. I tried my hardest to be sensitive to the topic that was being discussed. Rape is a hard topic to be covered. A lot of times it is like a voodoo word that people will purposely skip over. I understand this all. However, the way that it was handled in this book, the way that Sidney handled it, by trying to brush it all under a rug, not tell anyone... but it still getting the best of her and herself allowing it to affect all areas of her life and then blaming the guy for taking everything from her... This struck a cord with me.
Early I warned you all that this would be a very personal review. You may be wondering why I said this... It is because I have been a rape victim myself. So I can understand where Sidney is coming from. In a way at least. My experience was from a family member and I had to see him on a constant basis. I was only 12 years old when it happened to me and no I didn't tell anyone what happened. I was a scared little girl. I looked up the statics on rapes and it is kind of shocking to see that about 60-70% of rapes do go unreported.
This is not what really got to me about this book, however. I can understand that she was scared or just didn't know how to explain what had happened to her. Even if she didn't remember the details, she knew what had happened on a physical level. What really gets me, is that fact that she allowed herself to become a victim of this crime. Sidney allowed her world to fall down around her. She allowed herself to lose her friends. She allowed herself to become distant from her mother. She allowed her grades to fail.... etc.
I kept telling myself over and over and over again that I needed to be more open to what was going on in her head. Everybody deals with things differently. But no matter how many times I told myself this, I couldn't handle the fact that she kept blaming the guy that did this to her. Yes, it is a TERRIBLE thing that happened to her, but you can't just lay down and allow yourself to be a victim of the crime as well.
I wanted to see some fight. Some indignation that this guy should dare to take something so very precious from her. But I didn't see any of this in the book. So instead I started to focus on everything else. The relationship that was slowly build upon between Sidney and Corey (the slow build up of trust between them was inspiring to read). The peaks we got into the relationship between Sidney and her mom (which I must say is the best mother/daughter relationship I have ever read in a book). How her mother struggled to raise her. How Sidney and her two girlfriends were eventually able to make up and then ended up being her biggest support system. All of these things are what make the book easier for me to read. It wasn't until the very end, when the truth finally came out that you finally saw a fight in Sidney. This is also when she finally got to see that even those this terrible thing happened to her, the people that she loved and loved her back, still stayed by her side.
This wasn't a bad book. It was just a really hard book for me to read because it was so very personal to me. But I would still recommend it to people to read about because it is an emotionally moving book as well.